10.16.06
Above is the ad that ran in the local Hunan Daily newspaper in the days after Hui Shan (Mary) was found. Leigh and I were told of a man who researches and finds these ads. For us, he was able to not only provide a scan and translation of the ad, but the actual newspaper. It will be a cherished piece of her early history.
Sadly, her ad is just one of 13 from that day. It is certainly great to have the earliest picture available of Mary, but also tragic to look into the faces of the other 12 girls. I hope they all have someone waiting to make them as happy as we intend to make Mary.
The traslation of the ad is not significantly different than what we were told when we received our referal:
A Girl
Found 9.25.05 in a fruit box at the main gate of the Civil Affairs Bureau in Yuanjiang City. She was about 7 days old when found.
She has big eyes, single eyelids, a broad forehead, a pleasing face and is slightly chubby.
She was wrapped in a flowered cotton cloth with a feeding bottle, powdered milk and underwear.
10.13.06
Sorry for the lapse. Busy at work. Busy at Peter Pan.
I promised a little background on how Leigh and I arrived at the decision to adopt Mary. Here it is:
We were the classic - straight from Central Casting - professional couple with little or no interest in having kids. Two incomes and a lot of freedom to do whatever you want is pretty appealing.
Of course, we had conversations about starting a family, but they usually ended with laughter and a changing of the subject. When our talks bordered on the mature or serious - a rare feat for us - we talked about adoption as a very appealing option. Though we are far from let's-link-pinkies-and-sing-Kumbaya goody-goodies, the thought of making such a profound difference in the life of an unwanted child is something we're drawn to.
For me, there is a direct connection between my grandfather coming over 'on the boat' to a place that, for him, really did have streets paved with gold, and my desire to somehow replicate that in the life of someone else. Though Mary will be much less aware of that dynamic, it's still pretty awesome.
For Leigh, who knows. Maybe as she got to know me and my many quirks, she decided she'd rather not risk a dip into my gene pool. I'm kidding, of course...right, Leigh?
It wasn't until November of 2004 that something changed and we decided to investigate international adoption.
For those of you wondering why we didn't consider adopting domestically, we did. However, there are many issues with domestic adoptions that make us nervous, not the least of which are the rights of the birthmother. Also, even our orphans have exponentially better longterm survival and success rates than the lost children in other countries.
By the time we decided to attend an "informal and informational" meeting about international adoption, I knew we would be going through with this. Heck, we once bought a $5,000 set of cookware at a Home Show after a 15 minute presentation because it promised to "make anyone a 5-star chef." Although we thankfully suffered buyer's remorse before leaving the parking lot and cancelled our order, we've never been very good at "informal and informational." Thank God we've never been to a timeshare seminar!
Believe it or not, we went into that first meeting pretty much with our hearts set on adopting an eastern European boy - maybe from Russia or Ukraine. But after hearing about China's One-Child Law and the thought of girls being deemed undesirable, we shifted our focus and began the process of finding Mary.
More to come...
10.06.06
First, Happy Birthday to Sister (soon-to-be-aunt) Susan and "Break A Leg" to Leigh who opens tonight as Peter Pan.
It's been a couple of days since I updated this thing, in part bacause we don't have much new information, but more because we've been so busy.
We sent the characters for Mary's given name, Yuan Hui Shan, to be translated by someone with great resources and knowledge of how the characters work together in different dialects to form the meaning of the name.
The first character "Yuan" is technically her last name. She is named after the Yuan River in Hunan, but most everyone from there shares that name.
The second character "Hui," is a noun that means virtue, kindness, benefit and favor.
The third character "Shan" is very common and is literally defined as "coral" but is used to signify beauty and grace in a girl's name.
Although we will not use her entire name, it is pronounced Yan (as in Dan), We (as in Pee) Shaan (as in James Caan).
We intend to use Hui Shan, which can actually be written as one word (Huishan) as her middle name - officially translated to mean "Virtuous and Graceful" or "Graceful Virtue." Either way, it reminds me of Leigh.
10.03.06 Part 2
It seems some of you can't stop staring at Mary's pictures. You are not alone and can certainly include me in that club. In fact, yesterday I told one of my coworkers that I don't think I've fallen in love with a picture since 1978!
You're welcome, Ron.
10.03.06
Some of you have asked exactly where Mary's orphanage is and where we'll pick her up. I guess I will start with the end and then circle back to the beginning of our journey. Yuanjiang, pictured in the poster, is in Hunan (highlighted on the map). That is where Mary is right now. There is a 12-hour time difference between Charlotte and, well, all of China.
When the time comes to go get her, we will not likely be permitted to see her orphanage or travel to Yuanjiang at all. The plan, right now, calls for us to begin the trip in Beijing, filling out more paperwork and actually doing some sightseeing (maybe having some suits made and doing lots of shopping). After several days, we will go to Guangzhou, in Southeast China, where there is a US Consulate. It is there, after a few more days of paperwork, that we will meet and officially become Mary's parents. It will all 'go down' in the White Swan hotel and is very well-orchestrated. We will stay for a few days there, with Mary, before traveling home - either direct from Guangzhou, or back through Beijing. Our total trip to China should take about two weeks. The flights from Chicago to Beijing, traveling over the North Pole, are the shortest and take about 17 hours.
At that point, how difficult an adjustment she has is anyone's guess. We have heard horrific tales of seemingly endless night terrors and rejection, but some families talk of very smooth transitions. We'll just have to wait and see.
She doesn't look like trouble, but neither did I at that age.
Next up: The beginning.
10.02.06 Part 2
Leigh found out that another CWA (Christian World Adoption) family in NC is on the same schedule as us to travel to China. In fact, our Mary and their Katelyn are in the same orphanage. Mike and Jen Anderson have a website (www.ourjourneytokatelyn.com) that makes my effort at blogging seem completely lame, so if you've been remotely impressed by this blog, please don't visit their site. They even posted a picture of the gates to the girls' orphanage. I "borrowed" it to share (see above).
10.02.06
Sorry for no weekend post.
Lori was in town. We had a great visit, but time got away from me.
On Friday, I spoke with Dr. Elaine Schulte, a pediatician who happens to be an international adoption specialist and aunt of one of my all-time favorite players (Ben "Fetus" Keating). She reviewed the reports we got on Mary and found no red flags, but cautioned that the reports are almost too detailed to be believable. She thought some of the developmental information might have been "canned" and that Mary's eating habits may have been exaggerated to include foods not likely available to her. In looking at Mary's weight, Dr. Schulte said her weight when she was found, given the other measurements, was probably 2kg (about 4.5 pounds), or was a typo in the translation and may have been an attempt at 7 lbs. There is no way she weighed 7 kg. (15.4 lbs.) at five days old. In blowing the pictures up, Dr. Schulte noted some excema (very common) or signs of thumb-sucking around her right thumb. Also in magnifying the images, she was able to make a cursery evaluation of Mary's eyes and saw nothing out of the ordinary.
Dr. Schulte will consult with Leigh and I throughout the process and after we bring Mary home.
We are just five days from Leigh playing "Peter" in Peter Pan , and as you can see from the pictures, she's every bit as convincing as Mary Martin, Sandy Duncan or Kathy Rigby - and I don't think any of them chopped off more than a foot of hair and donated it to make wigs. They began flying on Friday and made it through the weekend without incident.
I went by twice to watch - it's
pretty awesome!
